Today felt awkward and I avoided it for as long as I could. Then I sat down to write, because this is how it’s done on Fridays.
Today’s word: Small
Sometimes I forget that they’re small.
I look at them and expect them to reason and think and act just like me. I treat them like they are mini-adults with decades of experience behind them to help shape their decisions and reactions.
I forget that they are learning in this sometimes crazy, mixed-up world full of questions and unknown. I wonder how they can learn when so much is under this big umbrella of a question mark.
Sometimes I forget that they are small when I hear them argue or refuse to pickup their toys.
I forget that by Friday we are all feeling more fried than we know, and maybe what we needs is a bit of grace.
I forget so much about them just because they are small.
But their size masks their biggest traits. When I am so busy expecting them to be bigger, I don’t realize they already are.
I watched my son share a piece of his new candy with his friend. It was a proud mama moment. But then I watched my daughter give her brother a piece of her candy because she thought it was so nice that he shared. The moment was over in less than 60 seconds, but it felt anything but small.
Maybe I have it all backwards. The places where I think they are small, is where their greatest strengths lie. And the places where I expect them to be big, I need to let go and allow them to be small.
Maybe I need to be more like them.
Because I’m really not good at sharing my candy.
Motherhood feels like dancing blindfolded in shoes two sizes too big. But sometimes you remember to smile and enjoy the dance.
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