Today’s word: Fight
I used to like to fight. If someone told me left, I went right. If someone said the sky was blue, I thought it looked gray. If someone said it couldn’t be done, I did it. In a lifetime of trying to fit in I fought my way out of a box I thought I wanted so badly.
And then things changed. Maybe I changed. Marriage, job, kids…the usual I guess. I became tired of fighting. Maybe it was that there wasn’t a fight to be fought. I spent so much time fighting, I didn’t recognize that there was nothing that needed artillery.
My grandmother always told me that that someday I would realize life isn’t black and white. I laughed every time she said it. Every. Single. Time. She would tilt her head to the side raise her eyebrows and tell me to wait and see.
I always thought I’d prove her wrong.
Life isn’t what I thought it would be. There are so many shades of black and so many whites I see a rainbow of possibility.
I’m glad I see differently, and I’m glad the fight has eased a bit. I like to think I’ve softened. But I really haven’t. There are still two colors. Black and White. There is still right and wrong. It’s just that it’s not my job to judge everyone else’s shades of gray.
It’s my job to fight for one thing.
Five minutes can be a funny thing. Your mind and your heart start with the first tick of the clock and, if you let them, they move forward on their own accord. I didn’t end where I thought I would. I didn’t go where I thought I would. But I wrote. I’m itching to change, to edit, to refine, but this is my 5 minutes.
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