Begin Again

Beginner

This is where I am at. I’m laying it all on the table to let you know this is my beginning….again. I have this nagging voice in my head telling me this is not good enough. None of it is good enough. It’s not perfect enough, pretty enough, none of it is right.

I’d like to tell that voice to go away now. Because here it is: I wouldn’t let anyone talk to someone I love that way.

Maybe that’s the problem. Do I love myself the way I love my husband, my kids, my friends? Maybe if I excelled, I’d love myself more? But I am loved. And so are you. And we don’t have to earn any of it. Sometimes I forget that and I strive for excellence, not because I want to be the best I can be, but because I want people to see me as the best. Maybe if they see that, then they’ll love me.

Guess what-I don’t need that. I think I do, but I know I don’t.

I am trying so hard to let go of my desire to be the best. If I’m honest, I want to be the best at everything.

So today, I’m coming to you as a beginner with all the raw, scared excitement that comes with it. Be gentle with me; I’m trying to be gentle with myself.

And now I’m releasing you to do the same for yourself. Look at whatever it is you are facing as a beginner. Give yourself the grace that we give a little one learning to walk. Coddle yourself, encourage yourself, and more than anything praise yourself for even the smallest victories and overlook any shortcomings.

There will be plenty of opportunity to critique and challenge yourself.

Today let your challenge be in the grace.

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